Сырға салу

What this rite is about

Syrga salu means “putting on the earring”: the women of the groom’s family put gold earrings on the girl. From that moment she is considered engaged and, as it were, passes into another clan — in the people’s words, from that day the girl feels a stranger in her own home. The earring here does what a wedding ring does in other cultures: an object everyone can see, which says the matter is settled.

Its place in the cycle — and the confusion around it

There is no single scheme. In some descriptions “syrga tagar” is simply another name for bata ayak, the meeting of the sides for final agreement. In others it is a separate women’s rite after kuda tusu, the first act in the cycle of “giving away” the bride. The most honest thing to say is this: in different families syrga salu was combined with bata ayak or held separately, and both are considered correct.

Who takes part

It is mainly a women’s rite. The earrings are put on by married women of the groom’s clan: most often his mother, in some descriptions his sisters-in-law (zhenge) and aunts. On the girl’s side her mother and older women are present, while the men stay formally aside. The zhenge is a special figure of Kazakh custom: the wife of an elder brother, cheerful and sharp-tongued, who helps the bride at wedding rites and teases her.

How it goes

There is no written “canon”, but from the descriptions the picture is this:

• The groom’s women come to the girl’s home with gifts: earrings (often made specially), rings, jewellery, fabrics, a shapan.
• The girl is seated in a conspicuous place — in some descriptions on a special mat.
• The earrings are put on (in one description, starting with the right ear) and the girl is kissed on the cheek with good wishes.
• The girl’s family responds with a feast and return gifts to the groom’s women.
• From that day the girl is called engaged; the earrings are the permanent sign of this status until the wedding.

The symbolism of the earring

Gold is a sign of value: a girl was regarded as a rare treasure, and the gift had to be worthy of her. Jewellery used plant patterns (a symbol of life) and geometric ones (protection from evil), and often depicted the shanyrak. Among stones turquoise, coral and carnelian were favoured. The earring also served as a marker of sex, age and status — from a woman’s jewellery one could read much about her position.

A word sealed with an earring

The earrings were also an obligation. If the girl’s father later broke off the engagement, he returned the earrings, the headdress and other gifts and paid a fine. In some descriptions earrings were put even on little girls when parents concluded a besik kuda — then the jewellery became a “pledge” of the agreement for years ahead.

Not to be confused: kudagi syrga

There is another custom with an earring — “kudagi syrga” (or “kudagi zhuzik”, a ring). About a year after the wedding the groom’s family gives the bride’s mother an earring or ring in gratitude, if the daughter has proved a good daughter-in-law. It is a separate gift of another time and another meaning — unrelated to the rite of engagement.

What has changed

The rite survived the ban on the bride price because it has nothing to do with money. Today syrga salu is a small family celebration, often separate from kuda tusu; the gold earrings are usually given by the groom’s mother. Many couples add a ring to the earrings or replace them with one (“zhuzik salu”), but this is a later influence: traditional descriptions of the rite have no ring as such.

Interesting facts

Glossary

Сырға

An earring; in a Kazakh engagement the main sign of a betrothed girl.

Сырға салу / сырға тағар

The rite of the groom’s women putting on the earrings.

Үкі

Owl feathers: a plume on a headdress, a charm.

Жеңге

The wife of an elder brother; the bride’s cheerful helper and “joker” in wedding rites.

Құдағи сырға

A gift to the bride’s mother from the groom’s family about a year after the wedding.

Жүзік

A ring; a modern additional sign of engagement.

Қалыңдық

A bride, a betrothed girl.

Киіт

Clothing and gifts exchanged between the sides.