Қыз ұзату

What this rite is about

Qyz uzatu means “to see a daughter off, to send her far away”: a rite and celebration in the bride’s home when the girl formally leaves her parents’ house. The word “uzatu” itself means both “to give in marriage” and “to send afar” — a sense of parting is built into it. Traditionally it is the last day of the great toi in the bride’s village; today it is held at home, in a café or restaurant, usually a day or more before the main wedding toi.

Who takes part

On the bride’s side are the parents, the kudagi, the zhenge (wives of older brothers and relatives), her girlfriends, and the elder of the clan who gives the bata. From the groom’s side come the kuda: the groom himself, his mother, senior relatives and the young companions. The singers have separate roles: the jar-jar is performed by two choruses — the young men and the girls, the syngsu is sung by the bride or a singer; the evening is led by a tamada.

Farewell to the home — koshtasu

Long before departure the bride, with a zhenge and a close female relative, went round the houses of the village and relatives: she was treated, given gifts, and said goodbye. In some descriptions such visits took several weeks. It was in these days that the bride sang the syngsu — a lament-song in which she took leave of the home and childhood. Just before leaving, the matchmakers were shown the dowry — the zhasau — and the caravan was prepared.

How the kuda are received

• At the entrance two people stretch a rope across the way — “zhol kesu”. To pass, the groom’s side must “pay”: with scarves, cloth, money. It is a playful ransom, not a real obstacle.
• “Otka may kuyu”: two zhenge lead the groom to the fire, he must pour butter into it and “pay” for it with a gift — money or beads. In this way the groom greets the hearth of the house he is entering.
• Playful “fees” with telling names — in descriptions among them “it yryldar” (“the dog growled”), “qyz qashar” (“the girl will run away”): the zhenge invent them to make the groom “open his purse”.
• The table: young people and elders are seated separately; the bride is presented to the matchmakers, and the kudagi gives the “kudagi korimdik”. Meat is served by rank (tabak tartu); the obligatory dish is kuyryk-bauyr.

Gifts and payments

The earrings are put on the bride by the groom’s mother or sisters. The bride’s mother is given a separate gift — “sut aky”, “payment for the mother’s milk” (in descriptions a gold jewel) — as well as the “kudagi korzhyn”: a gift box with meat and sweets, decorated with rings and beads. At the end of the meal, as described, the bride’s family is handed money “kalyn” — what was formerly the kalyn mal. More on kalyn mal and zhasau in the “Kuda tusu” guide.

Jar-jar — the song of two choruses

Jar-jar is a choral dialogue-contest of young men and girls. The men’s chorus sings merrily, the women’s sadly, in a minor key. The groom with his friends, as described, rides up to the otau, parts the curtain and begins to sing; in the yurt the bride, her mother and friends answer. The men’s side consoles: the groom’s kin will become the bride’s own, may she be a gracious hostess and give the family children. The women’s side answers with longing for her father’s house: “a father-in-law is good, but will he replace one’s own father?”. The finale is shared: everyone wishes the young couple happiness. The word “zhar” means “companion, beloved, spouse”, and “zhar-zhar-au” is a refrain-address. Related genres exist among neighbours: the Uzbek “yor-yor”, Turkmen “yar-yar”, Kyrgyz “zhar-zhar”.

Syngsu — the bride’s lament

The syngsu (in writers “syngsyma”, also “koshtasu”) is the farewell song of the bride, sometimes of her sisters, aunts and zhenge. It was sung in the house before departure and during the tour of the village. The texts were composed by akyns or the bride herself; in them she takes leave of her father’s house, the shanyrak, the threshold, her girlish takiya or borik — and childhood itself. The parting thought is that a girl in her parents’ house is always a “konak” — a guest, a stranger to the future clan. Some researchers see in this genre a trace of an ancient idea of “passage”: for a time the bride “dies” to her own clan in order to be born in a new one; this is a scholarly hypothesis, but a vivid one. The form of the syngsu is close to the zhoktau — the lament for the dead: in both genres a woman shows her poetic gift.

Today the syngsu is often sung by a hired singer while the bride stays silent — researchers note that the emotional meaning of the rite has gone with it.

The saukele and the change of headdress

At the send-off the girl replaces her girlish headdress — the takiya or borik — with the saukele: a tall conical headdress on a frame, covered with velvet or silk, embroidered with gold, silver and pearls, with owl feathers (uki) at the top. The rite of putting it on — “saukele kigizu” — is accompanied by shashu and a bata. Later, after the betashar, a white scarf (zhaulyk) is thrown over it, and with the years the saukele is replaced by the kimeshek — the headdress of a married woman. Clothing thus “tells” how a person’s status changes.

The bata and departure

An elder, the most respected guest, gives the bata; guests say wishes like “sudai sinip, tastai bat” — “soak in like water and settle like stone”, meaning enter the new family quietly and firmly. The bride is led out and taken away, and by custom she must not look back: there is no road back, a new life begins. Some families take the bride away in the morning, as a symbol of a new day; others wait until evening.

What has changed

After the ban on the bride price in 1920 the celebration moved from the village to cafés and restaurants. Today the bride is often in a white dress, guests are offered a cake, and the “ak zhol” — the white path — is usually considered ancient, though researchers see in it a late borrowing. The jar-jar often sounds in recording, and its content has shifted to praise of the wedding. But the main thing remains: the farewell to the home, the elders’ blessing and gratitude to the parents.

Interesting facts

Glossary

Қыз ұзату

The rite and celebration of seeing the bride off in her home.

Жар-жар

A choral dialogue of young men and girls at the bride’s send-off.

Сыңсу

The bride’s farewell song-lament.

Қоштасу

The bride’s farewell to home and kin, farewell visits.

Жол кесу

Playfully blocking the way with a rope for gifts.

Отқа май құю

Pouring butter on the hearth as a greeting to the house.

Сүт ақы

“Payment for the milk” — a gift to the bride’s mother.

Құдағи қоржын

A gift box from the matchmakers, decorated with rings and beads.

Сәукеле

The bride’s tall conical wedding headdress.

Тақия

A small cap; a girl’s headdress.

Жасау

The bride’s dowry.

Жеңге

The wife of an elder brother; the bride’s playful helper.